Belonging from the City of Joy, Kolkata, I have been brought up within a rich culture, along with tremendous love for food and respect towards diversity. When I had moved out of that city in 2007, I was more than happy and excited to do so, as the adventure of exploring the world lay in front of me. And, even though, I was within West Bengal until 2010’s beginning, I had somehow been missing out, on celebrating every Bengali festival including Durga Puja; with no regrets.

As time went by, I started living on my own and got tangled with my life in Bangalore. Though I was perfectly happy with my professional and personal life, there was always a bent void. Gradually, I realized that I am not being social with my existing friends, but more so with my acquaintances; I wasn’t aware of the life happenings of my dear ones any more. Thus, I slowly started working towards my social behavior and began hanging out with my people more frequently. This helped me fill a part of the vacuum; yet it wasn’t complete.

Steadily moving forward with my routine life, a phase of insomnia came my way. While struggling through this stage, I kept wondering what exactly was keeping me from getting sound sleep; though I was sure I wasn’t thinking about anything  to keep my brain agile, I was also confident that the unfilled cavity was somehow impacting me deep down. I couldn’t figure out the core of it, until last week. I was lying on my bed around 22:30 and trying hard to get some rest. The surrounding was quiet (as my neighbors sleep off by 22:00). Then, somewhere in my sub-conscious mind, I started hearing the sounds of musical instruments playing from far away; the mixed sounds of khamak, kartal, harmonium and dhak. It continued for what I can guess, a minute or two, when my eyes opened wide and I realized I was visualizing being back in my home around 14 years ago, during one of the festivals; and the sounds were from the various pandals (marquee) where the programs were organized. It then dawned on me, that the void was for a vital part that I had left behind, in the run for life; my childhood!

We often don’t value the things (or people) we have, when we have them. With every action we take, time smiles at us saying “I am not coming back… so, be wise!” But are we really? No! Then, what can we or do we do, when realization hits? Some of us get lucky and make things right; while the rest of us just stand helpless! In my life, I have never been a hard core Bengali, neither had I been proud of being one, until I apprehended that it was always concealed within me… Time is wise and it’s always helpful; though it does not repeat itself, it gives us a window of opportunity to redo or undo or rectify our lives. Don’t miss it!

  1. What a lovely realization. ❤️ I have been having sleepless nights lately but they have nothing to do with childhood. I hope you get to be back in Kolkota and enjoy the festivities 😊

  2. Remember, everything happens for a reason. Lets enjoy life to the fullest. Be grateful each day and make new wonderful memories to live on. Tnx for sharing your realization. Cool! -Natalie (

  3. I agree with you that sometimes we can no longer do anything about realizations. Similar to you, I l also have some regrets. I think all we can do now is move forward with our lives and replace it with better memories and experiences. Then recognize also of how blessed we are to be in the current state we are in. I hope your insomnia gets cured 🙂 -Me-An Clemente of

  4. The most beautiful things and our deepest thoughts only shows up when the world is in silence. Sometimes, life is ironic and we get the answers we want by not thinking 🙂 Anyway, great realizations!

  5. I’d say just learn to live through it. Everything happens for a reason and even if you don’t understand why it’s happening right now, you’ll be able to understand why such things happen when the right time comes. Anyway, I hope you get to conquer insomnia, chamomile tea might help 🙂

  6. Hey Sriparna, I’m so glad I came across your blog!! Have just spend around 15 minutes on it and read all the posts you’ve wrote. You’ve now got a new follower!! 🙂

    And sharing my thoughts regarding this post – Life gives us situations and we often take our decisions based on that. Most of the time, we simply go with the flow without thinking much about the effects of those decisions on the future. I mean, we often take decisions to solve the current scenarios. But, yes, you’re right – we should definitely be proactive enough to realize and act immediately on our own decisions whenever required, without missing a given chance. 🙂

  7. Lovely words. I sometime think that I would like to go back to my childhood to spend some more time with my grandparents. when you live the moment you never realize how precious it is!

  8. I believe that everything happens and what we experience always comes with a lot of reasons. We might be missing something, and that’s okay coz we can still make-up with the present and look forward for the future, and make sure you won’t miss the important things.

  9. I suppose all of us go through one phase after another phase. Sometimes, we reach a crossroad and need to make a decision. You certainly did, for instance, when you moved away. Still, at each moment in the past, those memories remain in our mind. Unfortunately, we often stash most of those thoughts somewhere that we never looked back. However, it tugs at us. In a sense, those bits and pieces of memories become embedded in our subconscious never to go away.

    Fret not, though. Because once the subconscious tug us, it becomes something that we look forward to. Go home and be merry, if only for a few days.